Interstate MAG

by Thomas Rowe
Obama is now President because he ran on change and reform. Expectations are high for him to succeed. It seems like he has promised the world to every one. Just when you thought every one was getting a bail out but you. Interstate has uncovered information from sources familiar with President Obama agenda that skateboarding is getting one too.
Under Obama’s trickle up economics reform, it starts at the bottom. Though skateboarding has experienced huge growth in the last 10 years we are still considered lower to the bottom. But still our progress has been great and Skateboarding is to big for the government to let fail. Here is how skateboarding will receive a hand up under the Obama’s Hope and Change Platform:

Corporate Reform
Special Interest groups namely corporate vampires will be strictly regulated. In some cases they will be dismantled and destroyed. “They present a clear and present danger to all of those who skate with in our boarders and a broad.”, president Obama regarding Zumiez, Pac Sun and CCS. “Core shops are the back bone and the soul of skate boarding. They will have my full support.”
Education Programs
Devote a millions to the Create A Skate Program and Billy Rohan’s Open Road. Education is the key to advancement in the industry. Disatvantaged skaters in rural areas are not getting tools they need to compete with those in California and in large urban areas that are rich in terrain.
Clean Up Corruption
Pukes like Baltimore’s Officer “don’t call me dude” and other cops who harass and unjustly persecute skateboarders will be terminated. Not fired terminated, firing squad, electric charge, gone. They will not be allowed to join the secondary ranks of security guards.
S.S.S. Skater Social Security
For all of those old washed up pro’s who are still out there scraping a living off beef jerky sponsors. Let’s let them retire. A lot have been forced to skate for cash, way passed their prime, and are getting hurt. Most uninsured adding to the cost of health care. We will fund their golden years and give thanks to them for their service to the skate commununity.
Immigration Reform Act
All Brazilians skaters who are in the US will be allowed stay. But no entries will be allowed in until the current US contest skaters have recovered from recession. You recall the recession started for them about four years ago and still continues to take money out of the pockets natural born gnarly US skaters.
Health care for all skaters at no cost.
The cost of uninsured skaters is near 100%. Road rash, swell bows, rolled ankles, shinners, and racked nuts mostly go untreated because of lack of insurance. These injuries linger, keeping the skater off his board and unable to contribute to the skate community.
Other Obama goals that appear likely to be in the economic bill include, although negotiations in Congress continue:
Doubling renewable energy production
Solar Panels on indoor skate parks replacing those that have out date heating systems.
Bringing high-speed Internet service to and rural areas.
So skaters can upload and watch youtube footy faster. The only thing worse than the place you have to skate is in your 12′x 12′ garage in winter, is waiting 2 hours to upload the pop shove it you just learned to youtube.
Temporary Assistance for Needy Families
Even if you have a board, every one will get one. Like President Hoover’s “A chicken in every pot” theme but more “A board under every foot.”
The list of people who are working to make all of these things happen is long and distinguished, like my Johnson. Have you seen my Johnson? If any or all of these wishful ideas dose not come to fruition you may be disapointed, even crushed. You may want to join a support group to console your pain. My wife belongs to one, for those who have seen my Johnson.

Man I thought the DEW machine was the king of hype, ESPN got them beat. All the talk about Jake Brown’s slam heard around the world. Lost this past year was that Jake Brown is a great skater and his ability. So it was great to see Jake Brown drop into a Mute back 3 followed by a 21’ McTwist. He also pulled a back 3 to 20’Mctwist. Jake got 3rd (BRONZE)
Big Air is by far the most dangerous skateboard contest devised. Danny Way the father who gave birth to the Mega Ramp gave his all and them some tonight. Danny Way is the toughest Mother Fucker ever! On his 2nd run, Danny pulled a Rocket back flip over the 70’ gap then attempted a Melon McTwist. While bailing from his board at 25’, his ankles caught the lip. He flipped over and landed on the flat. It was a massive slam and it looked like he was done. But Danny skated on with what he said unofficially, he had a broken ankle back and shoulder. ONE…. D…. WAY would not be denied! He returned to the ramp for a Back Flip to Melon Mctwist at 20’ On another run Danny would eat shit again and still get up for one more. He finished 2nd with a score of 94.00 for a Silver Metal.
In a similar finish of last year, Bob Burnquist came from behind to win with, Switch backside 180 to Indy 360 to fakie at 20’. Bob scored 96.00 to get 1st place and Gold.
What a great start to this year’s X. The slams and incredible tricks made for one of the best Big Air yet.